It's so difficult hearing your three-year-old child tell you she doesn't like part of who she is. As I bathed Hannah the other night, she said through her tears that she did not like her right leg (this was the third time in the span of only a few days that she mentioned she didn't like her leg). She stated she wanted two legs like Joshua's legs. My heart breaks hearing those words come for her mouth. I knew at some point we'd be having a conversation such as this, but I was not at all prepared for this conversation to come at such a young age.
I gently reminded Hannah that God created her beautifully just as she is so that she could tell others about Jesus. But as soon as those words exited my mouth, fear entered my heart. I don't want her to be angry at God for forming her legs as He did. I must walk a delicate balance between giving her the understanding that God formed her as she is and giving her a grateful heart toward her Creator....not a resentful heart for how she was formed.
Then, a sweet friend (whose daughter has a prosthetic leg due to a lawn mower accident) reminded me that it is good, right, and fitting to allow Hannah to grieve concerning her legs. It is good, right, and fitting to allow Hannah to express her feelings concerning her differences and difficulties. I needed that reminder. I needed to be reminded of the grief I felt for months during my pregnancy after we were told of Hannah's missing right leg. I needed to be reminded of the grief I experienced upon learning of the complications in her left leg after she was born. I still grieve for her "loss" at times. And so, it is good, right, and fitting for Hannah to grieve as well. Scripture clearly shows men and women after God's heart who grieved, and God welcomed their grief, their hearts. Hannah needs a safe place to express her frustrations and sadness, and it will be my honor to be that place for her and to point her toward Jesus in the midst of her grief.
May God draw her to Himself. May God grace her heart with joy, peace, and love. May God be her hiding place and shelter.
(Thank you, Kari, for your amazing encouragement and wisdom)
5 comments:
what a good friend to share something so poignant with you. you're such an amazing mom tara!
Isn't it amazing how the Lord provides special friends for special reasons. I praise God for that friend of your Tara.. I was speechless and did not know how to help but the Lord provided just as He always does ;). I love you and my prayers will continue to flow for Hannah.
What a wonderful example of how the comfort HE gives us helps us to comfort others! Praying for HIS sweet peace for both of you!
oh my Tara! You are such an inspiration to me. God has provided you for me to guide me as I walk in this journey with you. I pray that I have the right words when that time comes for me.
Oh Tara, I'm so saddened to hear Hannah is feeling like that. I, like you, thought those days would come at a later age. Though our girls will probably always be wise beyond thier years. Hannah is so blessed to have you as her mother. I hope when that day comes for Lauren, I can even begin to be there for her the way you are for Hannah. Thanks so much for sharing.
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