Emotions

My mind and heart have been heavy yet joyful. When I see a little baby, I just can't wait to hold ours....to hear those little coos, to feel those sweet snuggles, to see that first smile, to watch as baby sleeps. I look forward to having another sweet one in our home. But as a date for our Level 2 ultrasound draws near, I'm getting nervous. We've already seen our sweet one through four regular ultrasounds, but baby has been too young to conduct body measurements and evaluate for health (other than seeing a healthy heartbeat).

I'm praying this sweet one has no concerns physically, mentally, or emotionally, yet I'm praying that God's perfect will be done. To be honest, I struggle in praying for this sweet baby. As I pray that our sweet one has no concerns physically, I feel as though I'm saying I don't love our Hannah for who God created her to be. Sounds silly to a rational mind I know, but I tend to be a little more emotional than rational (just ask my husband....right, Sweetie? ;) I would never want to change anything about our amazing Hannah. God continues to teach me so much through that amazingly courageous, strong, and beautiful little girl. And I'm confident that, if God so chooses to give us another child with special needs, we will love and cherish this sweet one just as much as we do Joshua and Hannah (oh goodness, just thinking about it makes me want to hold our baby even more!!)

May we be prepared for whatever God has in store for this sweet baby and for our family. This little life inside me is precious, fragile, and in God's perfect hands. May I rest knowing that my God is sovereign.

Thank you, Jesus, for blessing us with another life. May we care for all our children with a love that only comes from You. May we rest in You.